Is She Too Young To Wear That?

My 9-year-old daughter left this morning for the bus stop in an outfit that made me stop and wonder if I should call her back in to change her clothes.  

As a mother, I walk a fine line between making sure that my daughter is dressed appropriately while allowing her to express herself freely in what she wears.  I know that it is not a challenge that is unique to our family.  

Shopping for clothing is becoming more and more of a struggle for us.  I have clear expectations and a budget.  She has a fashion sense that marches to its own drum.  Often I grab one item of clothing and she wants something completely different.

As a frequent school volunteer, I get to see regularly what her classmates and friends are wearing.  On more than one occasion, I've caught myself gasping out loud at what I see.  The parade of little girls, dressed like adults, with low cut shirts, heels and words splashed across their backsides, just screaming "Look At Me!".  There are even a few who regularly highlight their hair and get manicures.  I wonder why they and their parents are so quick for them to grow up?

Jennifer Moses, in a Wall Street Journal piece entitled "Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That?" addresses this issue, especially in regards to our hyper-sexual culture.  She asks: "What teenage girl doesn't want to be attractive, sought-after and popular? And what mom doesn't want to help that cause?" 

Fortunately for me, our issue this morning was her solution to leggings that were just a wee bit too short due to a recent growth spurt (Didn't I just buy them???).  She creatively solved her problem by adding knee high striped socks over top a la Pippi Longstocking.  Sigh.  As long as she looks like a little girl, I should just let it slide, right?

As parents, where do you draw the line in regards to your children's clothing? At what age do you allow them to chose their own clothing? When is it appropriate for kids to dress more "adult"?

Amber McCann is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and owner of Nourish Breastfeeding Support, which serves breastfeeding moms in Howard County and Laurel, MD.  More importantly, she is the mother of three incredible children and very involved in the Laurel, MD community.  She can be reached at amber@ambermccann.com or on her website www.ambermccann.com.