Moms Talk: Parenting Fears

The events of the last week have personified parental fear and the helplessness that comes with it. Earthquakes and hurricanes certainly make us understand that no matter how much we want to protect our families, sometimes our ability to protect those we love falls into a nether region far beyond our control.

As we prepared for the hurricane at my home, I received a phone call from my newly-pregnant daughter. Parenting fears never go away, no matter how old your child is. At 11 weeks pregnant, Ashley had heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

Just a few days prior to news of the impending hurricane, I had received another call from Ashley to talk to me about the earthquake. As the walls shook in her office, she decided the safest thing to do was to crawl under a desk. Then the desk moved over her pregnant body. I was a good 20 beltway exits away when it happened, and I have no idea what I could have done for her if I had been there, but it brought up how very helpless a parent can feel. You want to do everything to make it right, but the helplessness comes when you can’t do anything.

People say the world has changed so very much in regard to children and danger. I’m not so sure about that. With all of the instant media access, I think we are privy to more knowledge. We hear so much more about the evils of the world than our grandparents did.

A case in point dealing with parenting fears involves child kidnapping. In reality, statistically speaking, there are relatively few stranger-related abductions of children. Yet we hear about the case of JC Dugard, the young lady held captive for 18 years, and we can’t help but be leery of letting our children ride their bikes on the street away from our ever-watchful eye.

The worst part about fear is it doesn’t have to be based in reality. But it sure feels real.

The website, The Baby Center, features an article, Top 5 Parenting Fears and What You Can Do About Them. The authors asked: “Are our kids really at risk, or is worry simply woven into our parental DNA?” The article gives not only the top fears, but ways to plan for or circumvent those worries.

Sometimes being able to plan helps alleviate fears a bit. Sometimes it doesn’t.

So we go about our business, making an emergency kit of bottled water, setting up candles and buying extra batteries to ensure that all is well with our little acre of the world. Regardless, the truth is, sometimes what happens with our children--from disasters to illness to friends being mean--is well beyond our control as parents. Ultimately, we just do the best we can.