Home throughout the Ages

When I was younger I grew up in a petite and cozy five-bedroom row house with two full bathrooms – one upstairs and one downstairs. The youngest of seven children, I recall the Sunday night routine of “calling dibs” on my preferred lavatory site by shouting out – “first downstairs”. With this simple declaration my spot in the downstairs bathroom was reserved. As I got older, the treat of bathing in the downstairs bathroom was eclipsed by other mandatory duties.

My mother’s diminishing vision and hearing caused vast challenges to her ability to climb the two flights of stairs to bathe in the upstairs bathroom. I was charged with assisting her with bathing downstairs or in the single bedroom located on the first floor. 

The bedroom she occupied at the end of her life had seen its rotation of occupants throughout the years from my each of my three sisters, to one brother and even me for a short time while I was in college. Then as her faculties were ravaged by diabetes, my mother moved into the first floor chamber.

The location of this bedroom was convenient to the kitchen, downstairs bathroom, living room, dining room and the front porch where she would occasionally perch and watch blurry images of the world go by. In her later days, she was unable to access the laundry facilities in the basement and was left to trust my judgment of hot/warm and warm/cold wash cycles. Luckily her failing vision left her pretty much oblivious to the fact that many of her clean white nightgowns had taken on a grayish or pinkish tint.

It’s been 24 years since she passed away and I still employ many of the same techniques I observed her utilize over the years as her world faded to black. Even though she never received formal personal adjustment to blindness training (unless you count the few things I learned while doing my practicum work at the Western Pennsylvania School for Blind Children) she was quite adept at organizing and keeping track of everything and everyone in her environment. By simply listening to my footsteps she could tell if my mood was good, melancholy or tat of rage. She adjusted impressively well for someone who lived in constant denial of her losses. She never wanted to move out of our home or into a nursing home, she instead insisted on “staying put”. Today this concept is called Aging-in-Place.

Many seniors and those not so mature are thinking about the place where they live currently as the place where they will spend their remaining days. Whether it is due to the cost of assisted living facilities, or the lack of healthcare insurance to cover nursing home placement or the desire to remain in their homes surrounded by their personal belongings, mementos from their life’s journey – more and more senior adults want to stay in their homes as they age. With planning, support and some off-the-shelf items staying in your home for the remainder of your days can be possible. Locally, there are a number of communities that are helping seniors plan to age-in-place (see list below). Some offer volunteers to help with light housekeeping, transportation, lawn care or even to just stop by for a friendly conversation on the front porch. Volunteers are young and old and come from diverse backgrounds. My mother was fortunate in that she had 7 children and a half dozen grandchildren to occupy her time when she wasn’t on the phone chatting with one of her 3 siblings or her girlfriends. Another companion of hers was the radio. She would keep the radio on all day to help her keep track of time, keep up with current events and to listen to a myriad of evangelists who would read the Bible to her.

Today, I have containers, envelops, slots, magnets, paper clips and boxes galore. It’s a habit I picked up from my mother. However, my home is far from organized. Aging-in-place at my current location is not an option or a desire, but until I move I’ll continue to use what my mother taught me and volunteer my time with others and continue to learn from them.

Check back from a list of items seniors can purchase off-the-shelf to make aging-in-place possible.

Local Aging-in-Place Communities

Reston for a Lifetime

At Home in Alexandria  

Chevy Chase At Home

Capitol Hill Village  

Dupont Circle Village   

Village to Village Network